Blaze of Glory

When I go out, I want to go out in a blaze of glory! Not just wimp out and die in bed like a pussy. Seems reasonable to want to make the front page instead of just the obits.

Were all going to die one day, so what’s wrong with wanting something that really makes people notice. When they mention it, they can say “Now that guy went out with a bang” or Boom or whatever as long as it’s remarkable.

To think of how your gonna die, is a little gloomy but its also fun. To wimp out would just be a waste of this life. So its the Blaze of Glory for me and that’s a for sure. So next time you see a big flash or a loud boom you can wonder if that was me leaving this world.

Blaze of Glory by Bon Jovi from YouTube

Fun + Hippy = Fuppy

That’s what I think I am, a FUPPY. Taking the thing I like the most FUN and adding a few choice parts of the hippy life. Not all the hippy parts because I don’t like pissing people off. Even so, it happens more than I would like.

Most of my thinking goes through my brain and trying to figure that out, is my main concern. It takes a lot of time to balance ones self, usually takes me all day. LOL

Everything I am is in my brain, and there is a lot going on in there. This is a voyage of self discovery and mine decided that I’m going to call myself a FUPPY from now on. To me, FUPPY is the way I will describe myself to others. (Mostly online)

Its all inside my brain, the answers to all of life’s questions, I just got to ask the right questions. Today my questions came up with I’M A FUPPY and that’s funny. ( Maybe only to me ).

The brain is where the answers are I just got to keep figuring the Questions out. Fun + Hippy = FUPPY I ask a lot of weird questions! LOL


I Still have the sign, written on a piece of beer case carboard in black felt, my mission statement, three words that say everything, I DON’T CARe . When this girl would bring up silly things, I would just point at the sign, and my point was made.

This made me laugh this morning when I reflected on a great moment in my life where I just didn’t care. I cared about a few things like the Pittsburg Penguins and a couple other things but not many.

Its the part of me that I really like is the fact that I really DONT CARe.

Phil Collins nailed it with, I don’t care anymore thanks Youtube.

The World Has Gone Crazy.

Crazy world and sure to get crazier in 2021. Is everyone lost their kindness and replaced it with hate? Sure seems like it to me, everywhere I go everyone is showing signs that their ready to explode at any moment. From the guy driving 2 feet from my bumper on the freeway to the young man in the beer store that can’t measure 6 feet if his life depended on it, and with the Covid-19 it just might.

The whole Covid-19 situation has caused a lot of stress in a lot of people and it seems to be getting worse as the days move into 2021. There is only 25 more hours left in 2020, the worst year in our history. I can’t wait for 2021 because it comes after 2020 and most of us didn’t have as much fun as we should have.

Twenty Twenty One will be either one of the best or one of worst years of all our lives. It’s up to us to decide what we choose to think and what actions we do. Let’s remember the goodness in ourselves and show it to others. I know that for me this will be the best year yet. I hope to have the time of my life. Time of your life is the perfect video today. You gotta love Youtube

I Figured it out.

I finally figured it out, I thought that girls were always looking for the BBD. That is The Bigger Better Deal and now I know exactly what that is, and how it feels to be part of this twisted little game that they like to play, and it’s not as much fun to be involved now that I figured it out.

After a bunch of texts back and forth between a girl and myself it all became so clear. I wasn’t involved because I was Mr. Right I was involved because I was Mr. Right Now. Don’t get me wrong, being Mr. Right Now works for me because, at least for now, I’m getting some.

It’s just a real kick in the nuts, to be just a stop on the path until a better man comes along. That might take a while, or it could happen the very next time she logs into the Facebook or walks to the corner store. I figured it out, at the right moment, before she found him. With that knowledge, I gain power. The power of “I don’t care” is a really strong motivator in life.

The power to be myself without exception, to be aloof and cocky, to voice my opinions and beliefs without hesitation. Without caring about what she might think or disapprove of, I have gained myself. Since moving on is going to happen no matter what, I am free of the responsibility of having to watch myself in case I make a mistake, for I surely will.

“Waiting watching the clock, It’s four o’clock, It’s got to stop, Tell him, take no more, She practices her speech, As he opens the door, she rolls over, Pretends to sleep as he looks her over, She lies and says she’s in love with him………..Can’t find a better man………” These are the words of Eddie Vedder, lead singer of Pearl Jam and they explain the situation perfectly. Of course Pearl Jam wont let me display their video on here ( They actually told me not to) Note: Fuck Pearl Jam

December First Excellent!

I happy it’s December First as another November is over. The countdown to Christmas starts and all the little who’s in Whoville suddenly started to cheer as the know that the real hero of December was Santa Clause in 25 Days.

Well I don’t know about that part but it was a real nice day today. Sunny and just enough crisp air to keep ones attention. Stillness broken by the thunder of trains every 20 to 30 mins. Twenty-one days left in fall and by looking up the mountain I can see the snow line and it will move up and down til it reaches town.

I am so looking forward to Christmas this year. Just 25 days away from here and I’m going to celebrate each one. Just being alive is reason enough to get into the whole human thing. Were all in this together, so we should enjoy the good parts of life. Christmas is the best time for the little who’s in whoville to be a who. We should follow their lead, but we won’t.

I will follow the path Jesus has laid out for me, and enjoy the next 25 days just a little more than the rest. Pearl Jam Alive is todays Youtube video its live and unplugged.

It’s no Stonehenge!

Went to a small gathering last night (3 people) and what a blast. Several days before, I had played What’s the Meaning of STONEHENGE by YELVIS for them. The video came with a story of how when searching for STONEHENGE on youtube there was this band YELVIS in the search results.

I thought it strange that this band from Norway would be included in search results for STONEHENGE in England. Of course, I clicked on it and was pleasantly surprised by the video, well done and the words were all about the greatest henge of all STONEHENGE.

So last evening one girl put on a song of her choosing and commented that she really liked it. When it was about half over, the other girl looked at me and said “It’s no STONEHENGE” and we all burst out laughing. Of course its the greatest henge of all because it’s the only one.

With STONEHENGE on my mind all morning how could I not share both the video and my observations on how and why it came to be one of my favorite videos. First and last on Youtube STONEHENGE.

Today I’m a Free Agent

What kind of person would be your friend and lover one day and totally hate you the next? One little thing goes wrong and they do a complete 180 and now I’m the bad guy? The truth is, I’m not the bad guy here, never was.

This girl is in fact a petty person and sooner or later there was going to be something that she didn’t like, there had to be, because that’s her game. All talk but no walk. You know the type, they talk the good talk, yet always fail to deliver.

This kind of girl is trouble because she has turned her eyes away from what matters and focused on what doesn’t matter. The result is the rest of us are immobilized by their obsession with the insignificant.

This girls pettiness has made her dangerous because she appears to be only a nuisance instead of what she really is, a health hazard. My health was affected for sure because in only a couple days I feel more energized and appreciate being alive way more. I know I’m very lucky to be where I am, thank you Jesus.

This is the kinda video that might show a little of what I’m saying, I love it! And I really do love it! thanks Youtube

Like An Old Man

Like an old man is how I feel this morning. Like an rested old man who woke up with a dog instead of a girl. When I woke up I slid my hand across to, what I expected to be my partner, and I thought ” What ta heak is going on here? ” as rubbed what I thought was the person next to me.

Once I realized that it was not a person, it was in fact, Starvin Marvin, my dog. How in the heak did she get into the room when I clearly closed the baby gate before I went to bed. Then I realized what happened, the person that was supposed to be there, had written a note and left. How embarrassing for me and her. I had made a promise the night before, and I would have kept it, if they would have been willing to try things my way.

What was I thinking in the first place? No one wants to try things my way, not even one. I guess I’m stuck in my ways like an old man. Maybe, I was hoping for more than I should have this morning. I woke up with the wrong star and feeling great, well rested and looking forward to church and the week ahead. I am alright with being a old man, as it was one of my goals to become one, but now that the hard choices have made themselves, my role is a lot easier.

My role will now be focused on becoming a really old man and, for me that’s twenty two years, so I got a few years to go. One thing I am not going to do is, give my thoughts and feeling to those who believe that this life is all about them. These are petty people and I have no time for them.

My question is, how can I move forward when I get so much resistance from behind. The truth is, I can’t, and that leaves me stuck where I am or move forward alone. I will think about it, ok thought about it, and even though, I don’t want to be alone, for now I have to be. I cant waste anymore time on the unbelievers who, are unwilling to even look at the other side of anything.

I’m just an old man trying to become an even older man, and you know what, I love where I am and where I’m going. I’ll find someone some day who shares my outlook and my passion for what I’m doing. I just haven’t found her yet. Nobody understands an old man like me, except Neil Young on Youtube